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The list of articles published over the past few months..

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Most of us took the tortured road of youthful idiotic leftism before we understood that human nation cannot be changed and the only way to enforce leftist-liberal redistribution is through terror.

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It is not as long as Hugh Hefner's pompous opus, but then again, we did not write it in pijamas waited upon hand and foot by All-American beauties. Still, liberal domination of political humor must end.

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Most of these are still funny, as when we had a picture of Fidal Castro bawling because he was scheduled to host the 1990 Dictator's Ball, and so many had fallen the previous two years. Also has the classic, first-ever-in print demand to end Christmas as a legal holdiay, accurately forecasting idiocies of libs 10 years ahead of time.

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by Dimas Alexander

(Like a lot of leftist dolts in my misguided youth I saw Ché as a romantic hero I envied oh so strongly. Oh, that dashing beard, his dark eyes, that red star on his rakish beret -- the girls he must have gotten! Ché was a man of action who risked everything and succeeded in helping to lead a nation in revolution, while I had trouble deciding, when I lived in Manhattan, whether to go all the way downtown on Saturday night, or try my luck on Upper West Side parties, in the neighborhoods where I lived. Anyway, Ché died fighting for what he believed in, as mistaken as he was. The sycophants in the United States, Canada and Western Europe who still worship Ché make me want to scream -- AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THEY ALL PROBABLY HAD MORE LUCK WITH WOMEN THAN I DID. Hence, this piece, written shortly after Bolivia finally returned Ché's bones:)

Fidel Castro, without doubt, has erected a very imposing mausoleum for Ernesto "Ché" Guevara, whose remains were just sent back to Cuba from Bolivia. I thank Fidel for that, and here propose a way that those foreigners who have fluttered their eyelashes and wiggled their behinds at Fidel and Ché over the past 40 years can also honor the heroic guerrilla leader.

Just about all the journalists on TV, especially the women, seem to get hot and bothered when they report on Ché, and they act so superior, as if delighting in the supposed fear that Ché engenders in us, the great unwashed. I want all of them to receive the special love of the Cuban people for their reporting.

Fidel has probably already authorized a permanent "guard of honor" to march permanently around Ché's resting place, perhaps patterned on the 24-hour U.S. military honor guard at our Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

(Fidel doesn't care if most leftist, fire-breathing revolutionaries distain golf. "I have to be me," Fidel says. "If truth be known, golf hynotized both Ché and myself. In fact, the true reason Ché decided to mount a revolution in Bolivia is because it had almost no golf courses at the time, and Ché wanted to get in on the ground floor -- not only landscaping the courses and, wink-wink, "running them for the people, under his control," but also being the number one pro at most of them. That is the true reason why Ché was executed in Bolivia, alas.)

It is 100 percent certain that Guevara's tomb will become a major destination for foreigners visiting Cuba, especially revolutionary groupies, both relics of the 60s and new Generation X'ers. But is it just enough to have your photograph taken with the mausoleum in the background, and buy a tee-shirt or two for the folks back at home?

No, no, no. I call upon Fidel to establish a foreign honor guard at the shrine of the "charismatic" Argentine. That is, Fidel should allow a permanent, rotating group of foreigners to patrol Ché's tomb along the Cuban guards. All of them should be able to share in the love of the Cuban people for Ché.

Who should be allowed to participate?

I want every American TV journalist who ever sent back a glowing report of how Fidel's revolution has solved the problems of health care and education in the "formerly impoverished countryside" to have his or her chance to honor Ché, but especially:

That NBC correspondent who has filed many sensitive pieces on how the Cuban people support Fidel and suffer because of the U.S. embargo, to have his shot at strutting around Ché's memorial.

most of CNN's correspondents, most eminently its Latin American specialist, who never met a leftist revolutionary she did not like, to have their chance as well.

I would like especially to see every Hollywood star, no matter how faded, who used his or her celebrity to mock American policy towards Cuba to have an opportunity at prancing before the shrine.

I want that Wayne Smith fellow, always identified as a former U.S. diplomat based in Havana, as if that conferred special knowledge, who invariably ladles acid drops of criticism over any U.S. policy that could hurt Fidel's regime or his stay in power, to have his walk of honor.

I would like to have every college professor who ever marched at a pro-Fidel rally, and who uses his or her lectures to pound away at the "absurdities" of U.S. policy, and our imperialism in Latin America, to have his or her opportunity to finally breathe in the pure atmosphere of a land liberated from exploitation and capitalist greed.

I would love to see every "balanced" editorial writer who ever wrote a stinging column insisting the Fidel was forced to crack down on human rights in Cuba only because of the U.S. blockade to have his or her opportunity to honor Guevara.

I want every editor at the U.S. government-financed National Public Radio that selected warm pieces about the Guevara memorial and the reverential attitude of the Cuban people towards it to have a U.S. government trip down to Fidel-land to march around the Ché memorial.

All of these folk clearly believe that Fidel's revolution has been in the best interests of the Cuban people, so they should have the opportunity to receive the full blast of that love. My only regret is that every single one of them could not be there to receive it when the time comes.

I believe that opportunity will arise once Fidel goes, one way or the other. Then, the Cuban people will have a unique opportunity for a total expression of love because the Fidelistas will be trapped on a relatively small island. Oh, what a hunt it is going to be, as the Cubans ruthlessly chase down every single figure attached to Fidel's power structure in order to "express" their love to them.

I want to see the eyes of all of these American supporters as the Cuban people rush to the Guevara Memorial to demonstrate their admiration for Ché, and for the foreigners who idolize him, just as Fidel's supporters will be getting it. I believe it will be an impressive love. It will be an astonishing love, and these foreigners will get their just rewards for their long devotion to Fidel's cause. Hmmm, I can feel the love they will get, I luxuriate in the love they will get, and only wish the Cuban people could express it to every last one of them.

Don't you believe that every single such foreigner has enough faith in the love of the Cuban people that they will be only too ready to stand atop Ché's shrine and receive their joy once Fidel's passing frees them?

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